How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
