Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
