your thong is hanging out like whoa
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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