Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
