ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
