so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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