i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize