Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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