Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
