My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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