We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
