I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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