okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
