one two three fourrrrnication!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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