i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
