To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
