You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
