You're my little dorito
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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