The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
