Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
