What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
