Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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