PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
