I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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