my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
