Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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