I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
do herpes really smell.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When are your genitals available?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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