Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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