I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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