Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
