Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
