why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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