is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
