I wish I could teleport
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
