You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
