I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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