ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hate all girls vehemently.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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