He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
