you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
