He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
