I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
