Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
