Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
