So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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