Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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