she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
