I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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