discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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