please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My pussy is not your playground.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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