the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
