I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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