OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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