wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
